Out in the real world… do you have to do it too?

It just so happened that today was one of the, out in the real world days, you know those days when the perspiration starts, the nervous twitching and other such joys before leaving the warm, cosy abode (or is that just me?[1])

The journey started pleasantly enough, with the little monkey firmly strapped into his pram[2] enjoying the sights, whilst I realised it’s good to get fresh air every now and again…

And so it begun, nearing the dreaded supermarket in the area of town affectionately know as Mos Eisley[3] as there isn’t much more villainous or scum filled locations as this in our fair city.

Upon arriving at the entrance way, I was eyed up, and while this is pretty common for me[4], the woman in question was in her 80’s, stooped and, I do believe, dribbling. Rushing past (although giving her a wink just to make her day) I was immediately reminded of why I don’t like people: they smell, have nothing to say, are rude and don’t worship me like a god[5]. It’s better just not to be around them…

The supermarket itself was no improvement either, with Maddoc being avoided by a small girl, as he tried to have a chat with her[6]. We left the fruit and vegetables section quickly (forgetting asparagus and parsnip) before zipping around the dairy section, grabbing out of date yoghurt and leaking milk cartons before rushing to the till and awaiting the most impersonal service in the world[7].

Groceries packed and it was off through the door, hoping not to be accosted by a hot dog seller[8] or 80 year old spinster, manouvering the pram through the slum estate and its erstwhile inhabitants before getting Maddoc safely home once more.

It fair takes it out of me, it does…[9]

[1] I know it’s you lot as well, so don’t try and deny it
[2] Or whatever it is you lot call them (trolley, wagon, baby transport)
[3] By me at least
[4] I am known for my over-active imagination
[5] As I deserve (although see above)
[6] She was Swedish though
[7] You can go from getting the goods through the checkout, paying and packing and leaving without saying a word – ooh the technology
[8] Obligatory shopping food over here
[9] Just felt like I needed another footnote

About Mark S. Deniz

English teacher, writer, editor, publisher, reviewer and blogger. Founder of publishing company, Morrigan Books and imprint, Gilgamesh Press. Also cycles, listens to lots and lots of music, reads a ton of books and tries to fit in some TV, film and writing too. View all posts by Mark S. Deniz

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