Fake Empire

It is quiet here. Yesterday morning (and for the previous ten days) seven people were here. Today there is only two. Family from England have returned to my homeland, whilst the wife is in Stockholm.

My son and I try to fill the spaces, and fail. We are aware of the gaps, the absence of play, warmth and love.

The second year without a birthday card from my mother.

Ten days in which much was discovered, some good, some amusing, some destructive. This will be a visit that is remembered for many things, not least of which that at 37 I cannot expect my birthdays to hold the magic that they had in my childhood. I try to force this, to explain the ideal but it does not come. Three years ago there was a glimmer of hope, one of the most perfect birthdays of my life. However all has been forgotten since, swept under the rug of remembrance, for another day, another year.

It is -5c and the ice is forming, the cold is coming, time for reflection.

I am ready to say goodbye to 2007.

About Mark S. Deniz

English teacher, writer, editor, publisher, reviewer and blogger. Founder of publishing company, Morrigan Books and imprint, Gilgamesh Press. Also cycles, listens to lots and lots of music, reads a ton of books and tries to fit in some TV, film and writing too. View all posts by Mark S. Deniz

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