Self-indulgent post alert

Meaning I should go for some LJ cut love and spare you all…

Well I could say it’s over now, as the final debt has been paid and I am now free of the bind of Eneit Press.

It’s not though.

It’s not because I feel betrayed, I feel used and I feel let down. It’s not the money that has been the underlying problem here but that fact that at no time during this six month hell as she ever said sorry for what she’s done, sorry for making me start again in January, sorry for taking my trilogy idea as her own, sorry for making me go through so much unnecessary work, when in truth I should have been helping Etina out.

No, it’s just been me that’s been hard work, me that should apologise for being cheeky enough to ask for my money (not even a loan, as we never agreed that I would lend money), me that has resorted to bully tactics to get the money back and put this behind me.

I was galled to read that she still considered me a friend – how can she say these things, she’s made my life a bloody misery for the last few months and now wants us to go back to normal. I don’t think I’d even let a family member get away with this level of disrespect, let alone a friend!

I may look at this with forgiving eyes in the future but for now I am filled with anger – I just need to put this behind me, as soon as I possibly can – part of the reason I’m writing this for you, my core group, a little therapy session.

My two thoughts that keep recurring are big ones that I need to bear in mind:

The first is that if it wasn’t for this whole mess, I wouldn’t have

at Morrigan Books, and she has been a godsend, so much support and hard work and I don’t know where I’d be without her.

The other is that I have decided to see the first six months of this year as the aftermath of the loss of Fuat and the breakdown of Eneit Press – September sees three Morrigan Books releases and October sees my new baby, how can those not make me smile.

I’m having a very down couple of days but I will be back – I promise!

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About Mark S. Deniz

English teacher, writer, editor, publisher, reviewer and blogger. Founder of publishing company, Morrigan Books and imprint, Gilgamesh Press and editor-in-chief for review site, Beyond Fiction. Also cycles, plays floorball, listens to lots and lots of music, reads a ton of books and tries to fit in some TV, film and writing too. View all posts by Mark S. Deniz

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